Sunday, January 11, 2009
This is harder than I thought.
Well, I have been on this "diet" for about a week and a half or so and I have been working out quite a bit....guess what... I still have not lost ANY weight!!!! They say that in your first week people usually loss a little more than usual since they are loosing some water weight or whatever...but NO not me! I am still a fat cow! I do feel a little better physically not tired as much any more. The exercise is really helping with that. I guess I will just have to start working out longer each day. I guess the cardio is going to have to be a little longer each day now! And I thought I was going to do so well this time! I mean I am proud of myself for doing the little things so far, but I thought I could at least loose a pound or two!! GRRRRR! It is just so frustrating. Oh well, I will be back soon with more updates!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Well, I am back. I went away for a while... I actually forgot about my blog.
Well, I still hate my body, but the good news is that I am getting a gym membership today and I am starting to count my calories. I have a plan!!! That is the first step. I just got to the point that I was tired of crying and complaining, so here goes... I found a good gym and am going to start going before work when I can. My husband works out of town some days so on those days I will have to wait till the day care at the gym opens to go. But, I will check back in daily to let you know how I am doing.
The plan is to write it all down....how I felt that day... how I did on the diet that day... and any good accomplishments or any bad days. I am going to weight in weekly. I will log my weight on those days too.
Lets see how this goes!!
Today I weighed in at a whopping 151.5. Lets see if I have lost any by next week! The goal is to loose 21 pounds by June 3rd. We shall see!! :)
Well, I still hate my body, but the good news is that I am getting a gym membership today and I am starting to count my calories. I have a plan!!! That is the first step. I just got to the point that I was tired of crying and complaining, so here goes... I found a good gym and am going to start going before work when I can. My husband works out of town some days so on those days I will have to wait till the day care at the gym opens to go. But, I will check back in daily to let you know how I am doing.
The plan is to write it all down....how I felt that day... how I did on the diet that day... and any good accomplishments or any bad days. I am going to weight in weekly. I will log my weight on those days too.
Lets see how this goes!!
Today I weighed in at a whopping 151.5. Lets see if I have lost any by next week! The goal is to loose 21 pounds by June 3rd. We shall see!! :)
Friday, November 21, 2008
The first of many....
Well my husband and everyone else on the planet knows about my two other blogs. This one is new and I am not going to tell anyone about it. I just want a place to vent and talk. I have been having a lot of self esteem issues lately and I just want to be able to get them out and down in writing.
I just feel really really fat. I am about 20 pounds over what I need to be weighing and 20 pounds more than I was when my husband met me just about 2 and a half years ago. He says he loves me still and thinks it would be good for me to loose just a few pounds... like that made me feel better. But, I don't believe him. Who could love someone who was once much smaller and prettier when they met?
It's not like I have had a baby. I know that it is just because I have become very lazy and comfortable in our relationship. But, now I am not even comfortable. I just feel fat and hate myself. I hate myself and the way I look, but I still can not come up with ANY motivation to loose any weight. I don't understand. I tell myself one day "I am going to do it!" and then seriously not even 2 days later I am in the cabinets getting snacks. I CAN NOT DO IT. I don't know why. I can not clean out the cabinets of all the bad stuff, because my husband and son eat all the "good stuff". They would be pissed if I took it all away.
I sometimes wonder if he really even loves me anymore, and if it is because I am so fat now. Well, we will see how long our marriage lasts and if I can actually loose any of this fat. I will be back to keep you posted.
I just feel really really fat. I am about 20 pounds over what I need to be weighing and 20 pounds more than I was when my husband met me just about 2 and a half years ago. He says he loves me still and thinks it would be good for me to loose just a few pounds... like that made me feel better. But, I don't believe him. Who could love someone who was once much smaller and prettier when they met?
It's not like I have had a baby. I know that it is just because I have become very lazy and comfortable in our relationship. But, now I am not even comfortable. I just feel fat and hate myself. I hate myself and the way I look, but I still can not come up with ANY motivation to loose any weight. I don't understand. I tell myself one day "I am going to do it!" and then seriously not even 2 days later I am in the cabinets getting snacks. I CAN NOT DO IT. I don't know why. I can not clean out the cabinets of all the bad stuff, because my husband and son eat all the "good stuff". They would be pissed if I took it all away.
I sometimes wonder if he really even loves me anymore, and if it is because I am so fat now. Well, we will see how long our marriage lasts and if I can actually loose any of this fat. I will be back to keep you posted.
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